Can I Graduate?

In my last post, I admitted to being a hoarder of sorts. From what I’ve learned from watching a fair amount of Hoarders and Hoarding: Buried Alive and (embarrassingly) a lot of Clean House back in high school, hoarding seems to go hand in hand with procrastinate-y behavior. I am a major procrastinator, and blogging definitely falls under the category of Things That I Procrastinate. But! I have actually been trying to decrease the figurative piles and piles of media in my life and I have something resembling real thoughts about these things.

Parks and Recreation

I started watching Parks and Rec kind of on a whim. I used to be really into The Office and 30 Rock, but I got lazy about watching them and anyway, they only had the first few seasons of 30 Rock on Netflix for a while and also, as everyone knows, The Office is pretty much useless after Pam and Jim get married. I got caught up on Netflix and I think I’m only a couple of episodes behind on the current season. This is a good show, which is kind of stating the obvious, but whatever. What I like most about it is that, to me at least, the characters seem refreshingly altruistic (especially Leslie). I think my previous loves, The Office and 30 Rock, are very cynical in comparison.

Also, Aziz reminds me of my brother.

Also, this.

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American Horror Story: Asylum

I was a serious hater when my housemates were into American Horror Story last year. I watched about five minutes of one episode and all I got out of it was seeing a demon-faced baby which interested me not at all. I actually don’t know why I let myself get into this show for the second season but let me tell you: I am glad I did. The show is so over-the-top campy horror. Included in this season are:

  • zombies
  • serial killers
  • aliens
  • devil possession
  • Nazis
  • celebrity deaths (really, I’m just talking about Adam Levine here)
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sorry, bro

Bonus features: Jessica Lange being a really good actress (I guess? I’m not a SAG member) and the farmer from Babe being a creepy nun-fetishizing Nazi. Also, every once in a while, you get to see someone’s butt, so really there’s something for everyone.

Why do I like this show?? Why am I so in denial about liking this show?? I’ve never faithfully watched a show in real-time except for whatever season of 24 aired when I was in my junior year of high school. Being an expert at American Horror Story is certainly not going to win me any accolades in the academic community but I’m mostly proud of myself for watching a show week-after-week like a normal person.

I think that might be it for updates. One of my info-hoarding practices is, whenever I want to catch up on a blog, I go back to the very beginning and read it from beginning to the present. Yesterday, I did that with the website, Nerdist. I didn’t read every single post, but I can comfortably say that I’m familiar with what’s up with the site. I’ve subscribed to all of their podcasts and am in the process of figuring out which ones I like and which ones are just taking up space on my hard drive (I have a similar relationship with Revision3). At this point, I can only recommend the podcast Questionauts, which I have actually laughed out loud while listening. I just checked the website and it’s not on Nerdist’s podcast page anymore but whatever. It’s funny.

I haven’t been able to catch up on as much as I’d hoped, and I haven’t really picked up any new hobbies or anything but that is because I have finally reached the culmination of my Biggest Procrastination Of All Time: The 7-Month Procrastination Of My College Graduation! A couple of days ago I stapled my final, final paper together and yesterday, I turned that paper and the corresponding project in and today, I woke up at 11 which is not something very out-of-the-ordinary for me but I pretended like it was anyway.

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2012 was a year of Dark Times (to put it delicately), which ended up with me having to push back graduation a few times, but now! Now, I am done and I can fully dedicate my time to getting the hell out of my shitty bagel job and reading real books and maybe writing again for real. When I get my project back from my professor, maybe I’ll share that with you because I made paper dolls and it was kind of fun. So anyway, that’s probably the biggest update of them all and I hope it means some actual, consistent content from me.

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In Which I Have a Confession of Sorts

I am a hoarder of ideas. I have an external hard drive that can hold a TB of data. It is over half full of podcasts that I subscribed to at some point but have never actually listened to. 500 effing gigabytes, mostly of people talking about mostly outdated technology trends and performances of bands that are probably not “cool” to listen to anymore, or at least will not put me ahead of any music curves. But I can’t bring myself to delete or unsubscribe from them because I am deathly afraid of missing out on something that will change my life. This same hoarding habit is the reason that I have a large collection of actual music in my iTunes library that I have never listened to.

Prime example: I like the Beatles well enough. I am not, however, a die-hard Beatles fan in the least. This did not stop me from downloading THE ENTIRE BEATLES DISCOGRAPHY. This includes doubles on doubles on doubles of songs since I now have the US and UK releases of several albums. But which ones are extraneous? Which ones do I delete? I don’t know!! I also don’t really care!

I spent a good chunk of time a couple of years ago compiling an Excel spreadsheet with several “Best Book” sort of lists. I have some weird random list from TIME Magazine maybe, two columns dedicated to the MLA 100 Best Books Fiction/Non-Fiction lists, and some other column. I have read maybe 12 of these books and that might even be an overestimate. Fun fact: I used to want a career in editing and publishing. Fun Fact #2: Even though I am not a complete idiot, I am actually not that well read! I have never read “The Great Gatsby” *gasp* This book title hoarding behavior has carried over into the audio/visual world as evidenced by my Netflix Instant Queue, which only contains TV Series. My Instant Queue is, more or less, alphabetized and includes any show that I have a passing interest in. For a while I was attempting to tackle my Instant Queue IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER but I got bored with 24 and then I tried to suffer through Ally McBeal but here’s a little thing about that show: ALLY MCBEAL SUCKS. So now, I’m finally watching Parks and Rec which I totally love and am sorry for wasting so much time on Ally McBeal The Worst Show I Have Come In Contact With.

Another fun fact about Netflix and me: I like to be able to log into Netflix and go to “Recently Watched” and continue whatever TV Series I was last watching but my brother has my password and he is ROBSESSED with How I Met Your Mother and watches about 17 episodes of this show a day and I have to scroll way the eff down to get back to my current project Parks and Rec (which is a far better show, duh). This is sort of a non-sequitur but mostly LISTEN UP, INTERNET. MY SUPPOSED-MR.-COOL-GUY BROTHER ACTUALLY DOES NOTHING BUT WATCH HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER AND I GET TO FOOT THE $7-A-MONTH-OR-WHATEVER BILL.

I never thought I had a bucket list but I’m now realizing that I do, and that it looks kind of like this:

1. Read all the things

2. Watch all the things

3. Listen to all the podcasts (?) or maybe: Listen to everything by the Beatles or whatever, you get the idea

So we’re going to go on a little adventure, Internet people, in which I try to consume every type of media out there and then I’m going to record my thoughts about said piece of media and maybe we’ll discover something shocking/enlightening/tragic about myself other than the fact that I like to procrastinate by making lists. I mean, I’ve already ruled out Ally McBeal, so that says something right?

I also have this thing where I One Day Wish To Be A Writer, and I’ve been hoarding some ideas in the ol’ brain notepad so maybe I’ll share some of those too. Get pumped.